Flip the Script on Negative Self Talk

Retrain Your Brain

Are you talking to yourself again?

You need to stop doing that.

It’s not normal.

Or is it?

While talking to yourself out loud may draw stares, self-talk is actually quite normal and can be beneficial if the self-talk is mostly the positive variety.

Unfortunately, many individuals predominantly engage in negative self-talk which can be quite destructive.

If that’s you, you’ll need to flip the script.

Negative Self-talk

There are many different types of negative self-talk. Some of the more common forms include catastrophizing, personalizing, filtering, and polarizing (Sparks, 2019)

Catastrophizing - Every issue, problem, or setback is magnified unnecessarily.

• I knew I wouldn’t pass the road test. I’ll never pass. This is a waste of my time. I’ll never drive.

Personalizing - Every disappointing event or outcome is about you. Other factors that contributed to the negative outcome are overlooked or minimized.

• Ashley didn’t eat anything I cooked. I saw her talking to Sean. I’m sure they were criticizing what I prepared.

Filtering - Filtering takes place when the positive developments are overlooked or minimized while negative aspects of a situation become the primary focus, even when they’re distant, remote, or one of several factors.

• Sure, my annual review was very good but it included 3 areas of performance that need improvement. I have a very bad feeling about this. My boss must regret hiring me. I’m going to get fired.

Polarizing - Polarized self-talk is the “all or nothing”, “ black or white” variety in which there is no middle ground or nuance.

• I won’t ever get the promotion. My hard work will never be acknowledged. I’m not good enough and never will be.

These types of internal conversations are damaging on many fronts, including emotionally and physically.

Damaging Impact of Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can limit personal development, produce stress and anxiety, and may contribute to or worsen depression. Decreased motivation, low self-esteem, and an overall pessimistic attitude may arise when negative self-talk dominates our internal dialogue (Arocho, 2021).

Certain physical ailments, including a weakened immune system and cardiovascular problems, may arise from the constant stress and anxiety that negative self-talk produces (wadmin, 2024).

If most of your internal dialogue is negative, you’ll need to develop strategies to combat the negativity.

Flip the Script

Take notice - Make a deliberate effort to recognize and take note of your pattern of self-talk, both positive and negative.

Acknowledge - If the negative self-talk is drowning out the positive, acknowledge this and seek to gain a greater understanding. When do you engage in this behavior? Is it throughout the day or are there certain triggers?

Retrain Your Brain - Replace the negative talk with positive talk. In order to pull this off, you will need to be intentional. Some people find this easier to do when they record examples of negative self-talk and then literally flip the script, by writing a positive thought that counters the negative one.

Writing affirmations and practicing gratitude - Flip the script on the negative self-talk by writing affirmations that counter the negativity. For example:

• Negative self-talk - I’ll never pass my road test. I’m a horrible driver.

• Positive self-talk - I’m a capable person. As I continue to practice, I will continue to improve.

• Negative self-talk - I won’t ever get promoted. I’m not good enough.

• Positive self-talk - I am worthy and deserving. I can achieve whatever I put my mind to. I am an asset that makes a positive difference.

• Negative self-talk - I’ll never have a lasting relationship. I have the worst luck. I attract the wrong people.

• Positive self-talk - I am worthy of happiness with a caring partner.

Final Thoughts

Our internal conversation is as important or perhaps more important than the conversations we have externally with our friends, family members, coworkers, and acquaintances. Show yourself the grace and kindness that you extend to others. Be intentional in your positive self-regard.

You got this!

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”

-Helen Keller

Works Cited

Arocho, Justin.(2021, November 8). How does the mental filter make you sad and anxious?

Manhattan CBT.

Sparks, Dana. (2019, May 29). Mayo mindfulness: overcoming negative self-talk. Mayo Clinic.

Wadmin. (2024, February 2). 5 negative self-talk patterns: origins and impacts on your

mental health. Mindful Health Solutions.